Wednesday, June 05, 2013

I Can Tell This is NOT Going to be Easy.

Potty Training the Twins

I hate potty training.  Like seriously hate it.  I know moms who really push their kids to be potty trained the second they learn the word popo, and I TOTALLY understand the appeal.  No more changing dirty diapers...yes please!  Not to mention the cost savings from not having to buy diapers every two weeks.  Ahh, so nice.

The problem is they don't go from diapers to toilet just like that.  It takes work...a lot of work.  And I'm going to let you in on a little is GROSS work.  Poop/pee on the ground, in panties, smeared on the toilet.  Yuck

That is why I really try to hold off on potty training my kids for as long as possible.  And thus far it's worked out pretty well.  Addison was completely potty trained within three days.  Hannah pretty much potty trained herself.   With a few nasty exceptions, I don't really have a big reason to hate potty training.  My kids have been pretty easy.  Well, thus far at least.

Unfortunately, I think the twins are starting to really be ready to potty train.  And the thought of potty training twins TERRIFIES me!  Thus far I have, VERY hesitantly, let the twins sit on the toilet for a while.  They even actually peed in the big toilet two days after Hannah's birthday last week.  (We have a little training potty, but they don't like it very much). 

I have purposefully held off on letting them use the toilet until summer.  With Bart home, in theory, having two adults to potty train two kids should be easier right?  Well, technically it's summer, but Bart has a few collaboration meetings so I have an excuse to, once again, hold off. 

Unfortunately, today the Twins decided they were tired of holding off.  And I got a taste of what I suspect is to come.

I told them they were going to take a shower this morning after we were done eating.  Lilly got done eating well before Maya.  The second she climbed down from her high chair, she bolted for the bathroom.  I said, "Lilly!  We're not taking a shower until Maya's done."  Disappointed she came back into the kitchen.  About 30 minutes later, Maya said, "All done," (she's a slow eater) and once again, Lilly took off for the bathroom.

This time I wasn't able to stop her until she had stripped down to her diaper.  I told her I also had to get clothes for them to change into after the shower, so Lilly ran downstairs, got some clothes, and headed to the shower while I was cleaning up Maya and putting all the dishes away.

A few minutes later, Lilly ran out into the kitchen stark naked, with a very concerned look on her face and yelled, "I have to go peepee!"

At which point Maya yelled, "I have to go poopoo!" 

Maya was still dressed, so I told her, "Go poopoo in your diaper!" and I ran to put Lilly on the toilet.

Maya followed close behind and said, "No! I want to go poopoo in the big toilet."  Unfortunately at this point, Lilly was on the big toilet, so I said, "Fine, just go in the little toilet." 

She said, "No, it's okay, I can get the stool."  And she grabbed the bathroom stool and ran to the master bathroom before I could stop her.  Although Lilly doesn't like the little toilet, she's still a little afraid of the big toilet if you don't help hold her there, so I was holding her and couldn't exactly let her go to stop Maya.  So I just prayed Maya would actually get on the toilet by herself before she had an accident (if she was even going to actually go potty at all).  After a while, Lilly changed her mind and said, "I don't need to go peepee."  And tried to get down.

I had seen the distressed look on her face and knew that she did, in fact, need to go potty so I tried to talk her into trying for a little longer.  She wasn't having it.  So I tried talking her into putting her diaper back on for a little while.  Not a chance mom.  So I let her down, grabbed the little potty and followed her to the Master Bathroom where Maya had actually made it up on the toilet all by herself.  I set the little toilet down figuring worst case scenario I could grab Lilly and force her on the little toilet if she started to have an accident.

I asked Maya if she was all done and, with a grunt, she said, "No."  So I waited.

Lilly kept saying, "I want to take a shower, I want to take a shower!"  The older girls were downstairs taking a shower and I knew that if Maya was on the toilet for a long time, and I let Lilly in the shower now we'd most likely run out of hot water before Maya and I even got into the shower.  But Lilly was doing the potty dance and refused to sit on the little toilet (or put her diaper on) so I figured it'd be easier to clean if she went pee in the shower than all over my bathroom rug, so I turned on the water and let her in, praying that Maya would finish soon.

She didn't.  (Apparently eating isn't the only thing she does slowly). 

After a while I decided I would at least get Lilly cleaned, so I reached into the shower and helped her wash and condition her hair and wash her body.  At this point Maya had actually gone potty.  So I went over to help her wipe, all the time telling her, "Good Job Maya, That's great!  I bet it makes you really happy that you went poopoo in the big toilet.  Good girl."  (etc.)

And as I finish wiping Maya, Lilly yells, "I have to go poopoo!!!"

Cleaning pee out of my shower is one thing, but cleaning poo is a whole nother thing!  So I grabbed her and put her on the little toilet, which did not sit well with her, so after much fussing I convince Maya to get down and put Lilly on the big toilet.

The water had pretty much gone cold by now, so I assumed Lilly wouldn't want to get back in and turned off the water.  Apparently I was wrong because she started crying and yelling, "I want to take a shower!  I don't have to go poopoo any more, I want to take a shower."  Meanwhile, Maya is doing the Naked Dance in the background swinging towels around her.  I'm not too nervous because she did actually go potty, but I try to avoid letting bare-bummed babies dance around my house, so I somehow convince Lilly to stay on the toilet while I put Maya's diaper back on.  Once the diaper's on, she takes off.

I turn back to Lilly and somehow convince her that she would rather get dressed and put lotion on than get back in the tub.  So I get her dressed, and put some lotion on her.  Maya must have heard me say lotion because she comes back ready to get dressed and put lotion on too, so once Lilly's done, I let her run off and get Maya dressed.  We can't take a shower now anyway.  As soon as the lotion's on, she bolts out the door again, and I'm left looking at my bathroom.

The floor is covered in water from washing Lilly and then dragging her wet body out of the tub to the little toilet, then from the little toilet to the big toilet.  There are towels everywhere from Maya's little dance.  The little toilet somehow got tipped over.  Fortunately nothing was in it...except water from when Lilly was sitting on there wet...I hope it's just water anyway.  It's almost 11:00 and I still haven't been able to take a shower, let alone get ready for the day.    Then Lilly walks in and informs me that she has a poopy diaper.

It's then that I finally realize that with twins, I don't think it matters how long I wait.  This whole potty training thing is NOT going to be easy.


Lori said...

Lol, I will not even tell you that when Eric was potty training and had an accident (poo poo) in his pants he would take his pants off and step on the poop to try and squash it into the ground so it would go away! Opps I guess I told you.

Rebecca Francis said...

This makes me so glad I don't have any boys.

janae said...

I potty trained Seara and Elijah together, and let me tell you, IT WAS INTENSE. Good luck. You'll be so grateful to be done!

Jenna and Daniel said...

Potty training is nasty hard work. I am so sorry you are in this mess! Thanks for the play by play though, and for making me laugh so hard. I am dreading the day I have to potty train Garrett. Gwen was a nightmare!

Good luck. If you have any good pointers, I would love to hear them!